Don't Stay Small

Scrolling through Facebook you can find all sorts of articles to read. Some are true, some are not. Some have very good parenting advice, others do not.  This morning I saw an article about your last child. Since Lila is more than likely our last child, I was interested to see what the article had to say. As I read through, I teared up a little, and then I stopped to think. Yes, our children will grow. They will change. They will leave us. That's the way God intended it to be. I can't sit around crying and feeling sad that everything Lila does is a last. It was a last when Hannah stopped taking bottles, it was a last when Ty stopped crawling and started walking. Those lasts are the firsts of new things though. I love to see Hannah mature and become a stronger Christian girl. I love to see her practice and play the violin more beautifully each year. I love to see Ty catch the ball a little better each time and mature into a faithful follower of Christ.  And, Lila, she's a new adventure everyday! She's at the age that she does something new all the time. Life and all the changes it brings are fun!

God does not want us to be sad about our children growing up. He wants us to be happy that He's given them to us to help them grow stronger and become Christian leaders. Watching my children's light shine at their school and in our community is exciting.

In this era that we are living, we see children being placed on pedestals. Being almost worshiped by their parents. Parents living through their children. Giving no boundaries or no correction for bad behavior. Allowing children to rule the house and the decisions that are made. Children feeling entitled because they have been spoiled and put at the center of the family unit. CHRIST is the center of everything. We cannot worship our children or place them as the most important thing in our lives. God designed the family to have Christ as the head, then the husband/wife, then the children (Deuteronomy 6:5, Ephesians 5:25, Deuteronomy 5:16). I love my children as much as anyone can. But, I have to remember that they are not the center of my universe. Although this seems harsh, it really isn't. If I place Christ first in my life, my children will be blessed by that. With Christ in the center, I am a kinder, more patient mother. If I place my husband second, my children are blessed by that. They see a father and mother who love each other and love their children together. They are able to see how to have a Christ-centered family. They have a guide, a road map for the family they will have in the future. My grandmother once told me, "Teach a child how to act when they are young, and they will be a blessing for the rest of your life." Children need boundaries and they need to know that Christ and having a relationship with Him is top priority.

My job as a parent is to lay a foundation for my kids to follow Christ. It is not to make them think they are perfect or the best at everything or entitled to have everything they want. My job is to love them. To show them Christ's love. To show them how to love others and how to serve others. When we stop thinking of our children as our own and start thinking of them as God's, we'll be doing them a much greater service.

Does this all mean I'm not going to encourage my kids to have good grades or cheer for them at ballgames? No.  But, I want them to realize that there will be disappointments. They will not be the best at everything they do. They will not win every award. People will not always be nice to them and like them.  And that's okay. God is preparing them for His plan, for His purpose, for His GLORY. There is a balance in this life. Finding the balance takes time on your knees in prayer to the Holy Father. Asking for His help in planting the seeds of faith in my children's hearts so that they understand what is really important and what is just for fun. And to be honest, asking Him to make me realize what is really important. God has big plans for each one of us. My wish will never be for my kids to stay small. I want to see the BIG things God's going to do with them!

My prayer for my kids is the same as Paul and Timothy's to the holy people of Philipi in Philippians 1:9-11, "And this is my prayer: that your love may abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless for the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Jesus Christ to the glory and praise of God."